Episode Transcript
Speaker 0 00:00 <inaudible>.
Speaker 1 00:08 You are listening to our anxiety stories, the anxiety Canada podcast with John Bateman. Check out anxiety, canda.com for more totally free anxiety resources, including our app mind shift at CBT.
Speaker 2 00:22 My next guest here is Bruno fell. Dyson. Uh, please tell me if I'm right or wrong with that pronunciation. Bruno.
Speaker 3 00:31 Uh, yo put that you're right.
Speaker 2 00:33 I am. Yes. That's lucky. Um, it's great to talk to you. You are, you're, you know, not to put a tag on people. You're, you're listed here in my notes is celebrity chef anxiety candidate champion.
Speaker 3 00:48 Who brought that?
Speaker 2 00:51 Well, you're a chef and you're on TV. Just just one second. Yeah, yeah. Oh, sorry.
Speaker 3 00:56 Yeah. People are sometimes called a celebrity chef, but I that call I'm still a chef.
Speaker 2 01:01 Yeah, yeah, that's, yeah, that's what you are. Um, Bruno kicking off the interviews, uh, as, as much as they can with the, with the basic question of what's your anxiety story. So if you don't mind filling, it's a little bit in on your experience with anxiety.
Speaker 3 01:15 Oh, well, uh, over the years I was, I ain't no some 55 G also has the nice thing. I can remember our anxiety since almost I was born. So mine is probably due to my, uh, child who de, uh, traumatic events that I encounter when there was a child and a firm that I had developed an anxiety through most of my life. And you can get used to it, you know, uh, I think what the key is to learn how to live with it and how to learn not to let it, uh, prevents you to live a normal life. So that's the biggest challenge our ways. You know, people look at me and say, Oh my God, you're on TV, you do all those fantastic things and you're kidding me. You have anxiety. I say, yeah, I do. So, you know, he just texted me three times the amount of time in and out you to do it. So sometimes I'm like, you know, I can't imagine what that we do is that you don't have any anxiety. What, what, what did the potential that that can achieve without anxiety? So, you know, sometime he comes to a little frustration what he, but I'm in a, um, you know, it does not prevent me to do what I wanna do or doesn't prevent me to live. My dreams is just to be taller and he just texted me last time to do it.
Speaker 2 02:36 Yeah, that's an interesting way of looking at it. So, you know, on your, on your track to where you are now, um, we're not calling you a celebrity chef, we're calling you a chef. Um, what was that path like? You know, you, you started somewhere and now you're at this point, what, how did your trajectory go from there to here and, and how did anxiety kind of inform or affect those decisions?
Speaker 3 02:59 So you know who, um, let's say 20 years ago I, uh, reached the top of my cowgirl and I was in New York. I was still the scout before y'alls or everything was doing great. I D I did have anxiety, but it didn't prevent me to do anything for that matter. And then at some point I started to have anxiety attack. Uh, I mean, high level of anxiety. And panic attacks. And that's the way I, my whole, like how you die. I mean, from being on the top, I dive. I just knew I couldn't hold a job, couldn't find a job, didn't pay my ideas, good M's, you know, you know, so, and um, you know, when you went, you're both telling me on that, you know, you, you want to upset that just yourself, you're very, uh, you know, angry.
Speaker 2 03:46 So,
Speaker 3 03:47 you know, but I was like, I wasn't in time. I was like in the corner and I couldn't get out. Then he took me slowly, 10 year olds to reimburse <inaudible> Hawaii. We don't <inaudible> my <inaudible> on my, um, I am my, uh, you got me as a man, you know, because you know, you lose so much when you don't have a job. When you don't have any net income, you, you, you become a muster nothing. But you know, I mean, we didn't know if that, that have that trans deep inside, but you know, we talked amongst the things that you take combine with a panic attack and that's pretty much, uh, prevents you to do anything. Um, that's, you know, I deep inside I always told myself, you know, life does not have to be easiest way. You can, you can, you know, you can make it, you can show by. But, uh, it was hard just to see my staff drifting into, uh, you know, uh, that kind of situation where we know our equity could not even go inside the rights, try and pick, we didn't even walk by your B's, your wife's trunk because everything was pain and put on standing line because on the, on the plane for that matter. And so, you know, he does affect your, your life. It can be a disaster.
Speaker 2 04:59 <inaudible> yeah, definitely. And uh, and so from there, you know, you hit, I guess what you consider to be rock bottom or something like that. I find it interesting that with, when all within all this and all this anxiety experience, that you still had that voice inside you that said, you know, no, this isn't the way it's supposed to be. Um, what, what kind of informed that voice of a direction to go to bring you back to where you knew you could be?
Speaker 3 05:26 When I, I think it's, well, I mean I became a father or when it was for the 42 year olds over though I think just to hold my, my son the harms. And I told myself, you know what I experienced in life, he doesn't have to suffer from it. And I decided, you know, I say, come on now you need to, um, to find a solution. And I was bringing online looking for super often. I find, uh, the, uh, previous C name, anxiety, BBC, and there was some information. And then I met the fantastic, uh, therapies to introduce me to, uh, to uh, cognitive, uh, CBT, cognitive behavior therapy. I put a dry for my English. And from that I know, I think I took ownership of, you know, I told him, I said, I don't want to live in fear. I don't want to hold back my, some desire, somebody happy, somebody, um, you know, who full aim and uh, you did him.
Speaker 3 06:27 And, uh, because of my frenetic child who know, I knew how much stuff that he fun would make in his life if I could live a normal life. So, you know, I, I wish I had foster IP who I knew. I always, one thing cause you don't want to do is to be on the, um, taking prescription. You know, I always told myself from day one I was a suffer and be myself than being under a prescription and not being Mason because I tried it on that went on. I could even make it to walk some times. Right. And CBT, it makes me a, you know, it wasn't easy yet. Uh, but the mixed me realize that, uh, I could see clearly the program at this point and that's why it's really get, because you know, sometimes you look for your IP and science, but you don't understand why it exists.
Speaker 3 07:16 He'd be CBT. Would he explain me what was a problem and how I could address it? And you was, um, you know, uh, not easy, but I could see the progress. I could see like we understand the mechanism of it. And that's where important for me, you know, and you don't believe it's in the hands of therapies and do dental goes to the, the hot process CBT. I understood it and I feel comfortable with it. Um, you know, he did have me to, uh, to overcome a lot of the issues. No, I want to say that he knows that he's known me or I code YCP though he's no, uh, you know, you know him that it would always be top of you because, you know, anxiety kinda forgot about me. County's on its way equal towards your life, you know, it's normal, but to, you know, to be fearful of something, it's normal. It's when you are anxious about a nut <inaudible> situation that's willing to be taught difficulty. But, uh, you know, the thought process, uh, tempo stance and um, you know, the pulling the music, not the cheap therapy, it does cost quite a lot of money. And I wish in a country like Canada, we, we should be able to access it for free all the time. But <inaudible> and he's actually, he's not easy to find the best therapies to the CBD as well.
Speaker 2 08:40 Yeah. It considering considering the, um, the studies that are behind CBT and how effective it is, it's quite interesting how difficult it is to find a therapist because, you know, I found it on the exterior. I mean,
Speaker 3 08:51 you know, for me, I think the mandate should be about, um, mental health should be accessible for all and for free. Nobody should have to pay for this and that way. That would be a tremendous help for society in many lovers from drug abuse, sexual abuse to homelessness, you know, if we had access to free and restricted mental health.
Speaker 2 09:16 Oh, totally agree. Because when you look at mental health and the trickle down effect it has on the medical system now, um, it's a huge for it when you take down just to below the surface as a huge percentage of people that are, that have physical problems or perceived physical problems that are affected by, by this lack of mental health support. Yeah. So, I mean, understanding the fact that putting money at mental health now would save money on the other side of the spectrum.
Speaker 3 09:42 Alright. Yeah. I mean, you know, we just need to take a walk for me, a Vancouver each side to understand that may drop program we have in Vancouver, but there is no politician or where he wants to call it. There is no magic mayor, old shell. Okay, let's do something else because what we're doing now, it's not working. I know a lot of people are suffering and if he's not trying, you know I'm lucky. I mean I wasn't born to survive, but you know, I never fell into drugs or alcohol use them. You know? Yeah.
Speaker 2 10:13 That's a huge <inaudible>.
Speaker 3 10:14 All I know is that frustration when you have anxieties to know to grab a drink, two drinks, three drinks because you need to get that <inaudible> moment. You know? And I know drugs can be a great day scape, but I'm lucky because I never, I never got gravitated to this. But you know, if I, uh, if I had 'em fed into this, you know, I wouldn't be where I am today. So, um, that's why I know we need to address the situation, uh, before, not after or somebody and pull it into after care, which is not the right things to do and we need to do prevention and we need to help people to access, um, you know, kale and O'Neill.
Speaker 2 10:52 It's, it's interesting you mentioned that like not not turning to drugs and alcohol and that kind of thing. What's there within you? Was there a certain amount of stubbornness as well that just stopped you from doing that? Um, why didn't you, well, I
Speaker 3 11:07 think because of my experience as a kid and also, you know, my story was I went away as like a single mom who I've used drugs, deep druthers. There was a timer and tried to kill me for that. <inaudible> I knew from, I only ate drug went back times. I mean, I did the abuser, the drugs when I was a kid, you know, I mean, I over all those 12 year olds over though, I'll be two weeks. So I knew the feeling. I know it can feel very good, but I knew that because of my mom, my mother abuse, you know, frosting me to take, uh, sleeping pills when I was 10 or 11 years old. I knew how wrong it was because she died from a Novell doors when she was <inaudible>.
Speaker 3 11:51 So I know, I know, you know, I've seen stuff <inaudible> the museum of drug abuse when it was a kid. Yeah. So I knew I, we never outgrow food that, uh, Johnny, because you know, I tested eight times, so eight, then FLT got to know how awful he can be, but he kind of, you know, that trauma kind of protecting me from <inaudible>. Do you want me to, she want to eat that way. But, uh, you know, I did try, you know, when you spend four of you, of course, you know, you want to drink, you want to drink, and he thought, I didn't know how to try to drink to just to ease the pain, but to do you don't do it because I don't see myself, you know, for me, I want it to, to own that moment. You know, I always crave the, uh, you know, you want to shoot at eyes.
Speaker 3 12:39 Yeah. I knew he started doing drugs or uh, I, if I was drinking heavy that we don't feel alive, but we feel at ease. I'm from the, where they went aspect. That's not being your life for me. So, you know, uh, so kind of, you know, you have used that when food was, I try to, I can give a hand, teach me that drugs was so bad that, you know, you can die from me from asking it in my hat and my mom dying from it. So that's why I never thought she, I mean, I tried, he told about it wasn't for me
Speaker 2 13:10 for sure. Um, we've got about a minute left and I'd like to just quickly ask you about, uh, how does your association with anxiety come to be?
Speaker 3 13:17 I'm sorry, let me <inaudible>.
Speaker 2 13:19 Uh, how did your, uh, association with anxiety Canada come about? How did you get together with anxiety Canada?
Speaker 3 13:25 Um, we approve or not calls. Uh, the Vancouver sun approached me a couple of years back and that's me. They could write a stylish, uh, an inspiring story about me. And there was a bit like, you know, I don't know, I don't want to share my program. We should be polo. And, uh, so we, I spoke to the village East a couple of times and that'd be <inaudible>, you know, she said, you know, he's up. We had to pull a lot. We show a face on the problems that it's around parents and they'd say everywhere else. So I said, okay, let's do it. Then she brought two front page and it was a wonderful story and I, I came out like the cleaner, you know, I was like creamy no to decided to say everything. So, yeah, it was what studies tried to call while definite rules, very difficult and explained my whole process, my whole life, how I came up, you know, about everything because I'm like, you know, look, I'm successful and I want it.
Speaker 3 14:23 And it didn't make me feel good when people were still just stories that were like, Oh my God, you know, so that's how we connected and then we chose to me, yeah, to see if we had it to do a fun way. Zing. So lemme within <inaudible>, you know, and, and having a platform, no one TV, which means more people know me and I'm like, I don't hide them. And that sort of people. Yeah, I struggle on my, with anxiety, I do have PTSD and you don't need to be ashamed. You don't, you start the stigma and, and I think it helps people to say, okay, well I'm like this too. And maybe I shouldn't. That shouldn't be a shame. And maybe you know, I, I think we live in a society where, you know, nobody wants to be known, has having a mentor issues because you're seen as a weak person.
Speaker 3 15:17 If anything or man, no man who wants to go to a bar with a to show up. Let's see, I have had PTSD. Do you want it to, you want to, I've got to show up at say, you know, a tough guy, male rock style, what do you want this label? But if me being on TV, having a strong TPC can say, I do actually indeed a hive. If you come days where you know, I need to tax wealthy, I got to be at fault and I'd be fucking getting on the plane and yeah, to have the panic attack. I mean, it's okay. You know, there's always no shame. You can still be a good father or you can still be a good husband and a great employee if you have the issue. Yes. Manage it. That's the way we walk with, um, uh, anxiety Canada, just to say, you know, you know, it's OK if you not <inaudible> use base.
Speaker 3 16:07 You have a lot of value to give to society and you don't suffer and you don't need to be ashamed of it. You know, I think, you know, people, you know, w w when you, when you <inaudible> the situation, you, you know, that is a big problem. And I think the number went to the four men between 25 and 50. I believe it's not cancer, it's not health attack. It's, you know, sweet $35. Yeah. Yeah. That's showing you the level of, you know, that's, you know, people need to be aware of it. Then I, uh, for like life on Cal. Yeah. I met so many people who take their life and help me to follow these because, you know, they'll know like something's wrong gun, you know, and the other people living on the street though, John <inaudible> husband, she Puerto Rican kid. And if you told yourself even having a kid or two kids, he's not strong enough to keep you in this flight that showed you how, you know, I was disparate to put out, just to get away from pain. I'm suffering. And like, again, you know, it doesn't have to be that way. Help everywhere. And you know, he's got good, well man could do a better job for, uh, mental health. We as a society, we, we will, we be better off. Definitely.
Speaker 2 17:25 Well, you're, you're helping your advocacy with anxiety Canada is invaluable and we certainly appreciate it and I appreciate you being part of this event. It's, it makes a huge difference in, it means a lot to me. Bruno,
Speaker 3 17:39 you're very welcome. And I'm always around. If you need to reach me and I always ask to speak up and to share my experience. Thank you very much. I'll
Speaker 1 17:50 take care. Okay.
Speaker 0 17:52 <inaudible>
Speaker 1 17:56 thanks for listening to our anxiety stories, the anxiety Canada podcast with Jon Bateman, checkout anxiety canada.com for more anxiety resources, including our app Mindshift CBT. And if you like what you hear, please consider making a donation. This podcast is made possible by listeners like you. Until next time.
Speaker 0 18:14 <inaudible> <inaudible>.
